Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
In July, 2022, I knew I had hit my rock bottom. Because of my faith in God, I knew if I prayed and gave my worries and my weaknesses to him, he would show me how to become the woman, mother and friend that I was meant to be I got on my knees and cried. Gave Him my love through words. Gave Him all the painful mistakes and sins that kept me trapped with confusion, chaos, and lack of control. God brought me to the Mission. After praying, I got on a bus and went to the Recovery Cafe for NA/AA meeting. It had been many years since I had attended a meeting or reached out for help. I asked if anyone knew where I could find a clean and sober place to live. The lady chairing the meeting told me about the Women’s New Life program. She helped me to fill out the application to get an interview.
To my surprise, I was accepted and moved in on July 13th. It brought tears to my eyes when I saw the beautiful home and community where I would spend my next year. The things I’ve learned and the love I’ve received has changed my life now and for all eternity. I now know I am a child of God, who is my father, and I’m a faithful Christian and citizen of heaven. I’ve overcome my need to get high and my thinking that I’m an orphan or a victim. I have been given a chance to enjoy my new life and start this new chapter and be joyful in it.
I was always thinking that the world was going to come to an end and that I had to gather as much food and stuff in case I or someone else needed it. And it got me to where my apartment was hoarded with stuff. I’d never been taught Genesis or boundaries. And I’m realizing that, you know, a lot of that is guarding your heart, not letting people walk all over you.
I think a lot of this started because when I was five, I was the eighth of nine children and one afternoon my mom had just had her ninth baby. She was six weeks old. My brother came home with the gas can and he set it in the wrong place, and it blew up our house. My mom and my little sister died that day. She had just told me that I could go outside because she was getting the keys and the baby for her six-week checkup. I heard the worst explosion. The bottom floor was in flames, and I looked up and I could see my mom at the window.
I’ll never forget the look on her face when she left that window to go get my little sister, because she was still in her crib. For many, many years I knew she was with the Lord, but I wanted her to be with me.
I quit school in the eighth grade, and I got married and he became very violent. I stayed with him for like a year and a half. And then I left him, and I married with my childhood sweetheart, and we had a beautiful baby girl. My sweet girl passed away at only a year old.
I think through all of this, for the most part it’s made me stronger and full of faith and love for God. I know that there is hope for me someday, I miss hope. I’ve learned that these things didn’t happen because of God hurting me. They just happened. So, I think that’s why I gathered things, things. And I think that’s why I’m always looking for her to replace everything I lost.
But I realize now that in my happiness and what I’ve learned, my heart wants to keep my possessions minimal and go to help others. I’ve been able to give back and I want to give back my whole life, whatever amount of time I’ll have.
When I first saw the little townhouse that I was going to be staying in at the Mission, I started crying. I was bawling my eyes out. It’s like I could hear my mom say, ‘Welcome home.’ The house was just like the one that I lost when I was five. I couldn’t believe that people in the community donated to make this possible and loved me this much. This program has been lifesaving.